Technology hates me, and this is a fact. When I'm around something remotely electronic, it fizzles out and dies without even a hint of an internal error. In the last three years I've broken three television sets, two computer monitors, two phones, two cameras (although I suspect a friend sat on one and didn't own up)and an ipod within three months of having it. It makes my life seem even more pathetic, that I'm so awful to be around even non senitent beings would rather top themselves that hang out with me.
Trouble is I love technology, my Ipod touch is the greatest possession I have. I can read emails, watch youtube, make to do lists, write poetry, navigate through the star system, look at a map, play a fuck load of games...oh and listen to music. I also love my pc and all those unproductive hours searching wiki for interesting articles or watching tv online. Everything can be done with such ease. Unfortunately, with ease comes a newly developed ignorance of basic human interaction.
I've been in correspondance with an investigation team and have done some voluntary research work for the team. Trouble is the 'manager' is a complete moron who despite sounding coherant on the telephone, cannot write for shit. Oh it just aggravates me to no end reading his poxy, idiot infested emails. It's a puddle of words, jumbled up, repeated, spewed out in bad grammar, lack of paragraphing and no punctuation except a full stop where a full stop has no right to be. The man thinks 'no' is the same as 'know'and I don't think I could ever trust a grown man who spells television as'telivision'. He also had the rudeness to reply to one of my subtle please-stop-writing-like-a-coma-patient emails by sending everything I wrote back, only inserting large angry capital lettering in between, insinuating (if I knows what that is) that I was the dumbass!
I don't like the way technology governs our lives. If someone my age doesn't get a text all day, they assume something awful has happened. I dislike having a phone a lot of the time, it means I never have an excuse to call back or have a day free of pestering relatives or sales calls. I hate how mobile phone adverts always show some poncy git in a blazer with a bumfluff beard being all 'social' because his phone has video messaging, twitter and facebook. It's like you are not allowed to walk out your house without being a networking whore. Are we so devoid of internal thought that we must never ever be alone? I just don't understand why people need Facebook on their mobile, I've known people who I've gone for a night out with, and no matter how brilliant or awful it was, they rush home to check their Facebook like a mother who's just realised they left their baby in a park.
I admit I use Facebook, and Twitter, and Livejournal, but only ever to connect with friends and gloat about my life. If you are at a party and you update 'lol I'm at a party, and it's fucking nuts!' you are probably the one standing alone in a corner or checking out your rubbish hair in the mirror.
I'm not a big fan of Satelite TV. Unfortunately as is the case anywhere you look, he more choice you are given, the more faff you have the wade through. Sky TV is brilliant if you enjoy watching endless repeats of American TV or excessively dull reality TV and documentaries. Or maybe just watching roulette wheels go round and round, or chubby dog-eared lap dancers' bottoms go round and round, whatever flots your proverbial boat. As mentioned in my previous moan, English television is a bore, but sometimes the boringness of a show i.e Big Brother is so boring it sucks you in, like when you stick your foot under the hot tap and eventually it feels cold.
Technology is wonderful, the internet in particular. It lets irritating, grumpy people like me go on and go about their thoughts, much to the pleasure of their audience and what can be wrong with that?
No comments:
Post a Comment