What did we talk about when Twilight wasn't around?

Ok, so I've succumbed...I'm writing a blog about Twilight. It's a painful decision to make, but rather than telling you all how much I love or loathe it, I'm going to moan about the people who do.

Everyone has an opinion on it, and I really don't. The people who bitch about it are contributing even more to the vortex of spinning commentary, criticism and fandom of the saga which is cropping up bloody everywhere. I'm convinced the over compensating waffle will eventually collapse on itself, creating a black hole for any credible journalism out there.

Sadly even my bitterly enraged hero of media, Charlie Brooker has given up hope and wrote a Twilight hating article for the Guardian website, I was sorely disappointed. It doesn't say much about yourself if you are a gabbling vampire obsessed cretin who thinks dead people, looking sour-faced and throwing yourself off cliffs is sexy, nor does it show any intellectual capacity if you are an adult spewing intense hatred at a franchise aimed at misfit teenage girls.

I've read the first two books and watched the complimentary books. I've seen the merchandise, the t shirts, the soundtracks, the sparkly 'Edward' dildo, and you know what my immediate response is? Meh. Just meh. I don't love it, I don't despise it, its a nothingness to me, its irrelevant to the rest of my film/book experience. I experience it then I move on. I don't really understand the whole hype myself, perhaps it's been a while since the whole vampire thing emerged again, maybe the last ulimate sex symbol for tweenagers was Donny Osmond, perhaps half the population has a blood fetish, who knows.

So please, if you are a Twi-lover, stop ramming it into peoples faces, the books are poorly written and as original as the fifieth film version of A Christmas Carol. Commentators, stop taking the intellectual highground and spreading your snobbery to those who enjoy the books and films, you are just as bad as each other, and may I suggest that you both try reading some Austen, she's pretty good you know.